Til Death Do You Part
by Fleeting Eternity
Summary: There have recently been a lot of tense feelings in the Slytherin house revolving around Pansy Parkinson...
1. Rocks Hurt People

_Haha, just as a warning, this was kind of a spaz chapter. The rest make more sense, trust me._

* * *

Dana and Catherine went through their usual routine once again: breakfast, class, class, class, lunch, class, class, free time, dinner, class, homework, sleep.

"It's amazing how time flies when you have absolutely nothing to do," Dana commented while hiding behind a bush throwing rocks at Pansy Parkinson.

"Nothing to do?" Catherine questioned. "Then what do you call this?"

"Eh, sabotage," Dana answered, harshly throwing another rock at Pansy's large, ugly head, finally knocking her unconscious.

"Hey, look, her head's bleeding," Catherine observed as she leaned over Pansy's cold, motionless body.

"Oooh, too bad."

The girls walked away laughing uncontrollably. Dumbledore was just a few feet away from them, charging rapidly.

"Uh oh…"

"GIRLS, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU? YOU CAN'T GO AROUND KILLING MY STUDENTS!" Dumbledore yelled in his amazing Potter Puppet Pals voice.

"Uh, no, that was you," Catherine replied.

There was a massive death-stare down for around half an hour before Dumbledore finally broke the silence. "Hmm...I wonda wut's fo dinna."

And without another word, he skipped away singing, "SQUADALA, we are off!" while the girls stared at him with mixed expression of confusion and joy.


	2. Werewolves and Witches

"Why are we here again?" Dana whispered, Catherine dragging her by the wrist. "You know that we're not allowed in the Forbidden Forest…."

"Since when have we payed attention to the rules?" Catherine threw Dana and herself behind a bush.

"True. Sorry, I totally just pulled a Hermione Granger right there."

"It's okay, you're forgiven. For now." Catherine leaned down farther in the bush and peered through a hole in the leaves.

"So…again, why are we here?" Dana asked, gazing at the night sky.

"Shh! Be quiet! You're gonna get us caught!" Catherine commanded.

"Caught? You still haven't answered my question, and what are we even—!"

Dana's thought was cut-off abruptly as Catherine forced her head into the ground. "QUIET! SHE'S COMING!"

"WHO? WHO'S COMING?" Dana's voice was muffled by the grass. She managed to look up a bit to see none other than Pansy Parkinson walking their way.

Catherine leaned closer to Dana's ear and whispered, "I set up a trap over there by that patch of leaves. As soon as she steps on them, she'll sink into a pit filled with blast-ended skrewts!"

"A leaf sink hole? Seriously? That's so cliché…. Have we really decreased our creativity level this much? And what's Pansy even _doing_ in the Forbidden Forest anyway? How'd you even know she'd _be _here?!"

Catherine shoved Dana's head into the grass again as Pansy moved closer. She was mere inches away from the trap, when from out of no where, Lupin jumped from the other side of the path as a werewolf, grabbed Pansy, and ran off into the deeper depths of the forest.

"REALLY?!" Catherine screamed, dramatically jumping to her feet and yelling to the air as her voice echoed across the entire campus. "DAMN YOU, REMUS!"


	3. Malfoy Mayhem

"This has got to be our _best _plan yet!" Catherine expressed joyfully before gulping down another round of Polyjuice potion.

"Yes, yes, very brilliant; let's go over the plan one last time," Dana said quickly, taking extra precautions to make sure everything worked out smoothly. "Okay, so I've transfigured into Pansy Parkinson, and you've transfigured into Draco."

"Well…duh," Catherine interrupted sarcastically as Dana glared at her.

"I'm not _done_." Dana cleared her throat before proceeding. "Now I'll apparate to Malfoy Manor where a Death Eater meeting is currently taking place, still disguised as Pansy, and completely ruin everything. Meanwhile you're disguised as Draco and convincing the real Pansy Parkinson to come to the meeting so that—"

"Yeah, I know, she comes in at the very en—"

"Okay, you got it," Dana said over Catherine's interruption, starting to get a little annoyed. "Well there's no time to waste, the potion only lasts an hour, let's go."

And with that being said, Dana apparated right outside the doors of the Death Eater meeting. She put her leg back, then swung it forward, and kicked open the double doors with a loud _BANG_. Several people gasped as all the heads in the room turned on "Pansy".

* * *

Back at Hogwarts, Catherine had just entered the Slytherin common room disguised as Draco, hoping to convince Pansy that she was the real thing.

"Hey Pansy," Catherine mimicked in a voice that sounded just like Draco's.

"Oh…hi, Draco. I thought you were at Quidditch practice," Pansy said softly, batting her eyelashes. It took every ounce of strength and resistance Catherine had to not strangle her then and there.

"Pansy…I need to tell you something," Catherine said, running her fingers through her now-blonde hair.

"Well, what is it?"

"I…I…" Catherine couldn't believe she was just about to say this. Even as Draco she felt completely out of character. "I love you, Pansy."

Pansy's eyes immediately widened and seemed to glow like a 60 watt light bulb. "You do?!" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, I really do."

Pansy leaned in to hug "Draco", but was suddenly pushed away.

"No, not now," Catherine said. "We could be seen."

"Seen? By who?" Pansy asked in her high-pitched voice. "There's no one in here!"

"Quiet!" Catherine said, pressing her finger to Pansy's lips to shut her up. "Apparate to my Manor in five minutes. There's a huge Death Eater meeting there that I really should be attending now, but I had to tell you this, first. Just enter the dining room and I'll be there waiting."

* * *

"I FOUND A HORCRUX! I FOUND A HORCRUX!" Dana screamed as she skipped around the Malfoy's dining room waving a replica of the Slytherin locket in her hand.

"WHAT?" Voldemort yelled, trying to snatch the locket from her grasp.

"Pansy!" a man called, obviously Pansy's father (being extremely ugly), from across the table. "Give our Lord his horcrux back NOW! What do you think you're _doing_?"

Dana completely ignored Mr. Parkinson's orders as she pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from out of thin air. (Which, from my knowledge, is completely impossible.)

"Hey, hey! Lookie what I got! _Whoops!_" Dana dropped the Slytherin locket on the table and immediately began striking it with the sword.

"Stop! STOP!" all the Death Eaters shouted, looking to Voldemort for what action they should take next.

Voldemort raised his wand at the girl and began to say, _"Avada—"_

"Haha, no no no!" Dana sang in an airy voice, taking Voldemort's wand and breaking it in half, then chucking the remaining pieces at Pansy's dad.

"Oh, and Voldy, you look absolutely _marvelous _today!" Dana continued, grabbing Voldemort's head and kissing it repeatedly. "Hehe, your head is so _bald_! And _smooth_! Has anyone ever asked you if you're Michael Jackson? I mean you don't really have a nose…."

Realizing that the real Pansy would be arriving momentarily, Dana made her exit. But not before hitting the locket one more time with the sword.

Seconds after leaving, the real Pansy Parkinson entered the room, her eyes closed in anticipation and her arms outstretched. "Where's my Draco!" she said lovingly, a huge grin spreading across her face.

From outside the doors, Dana and Catherine were laughing so hard that they were blue in the face. "I think we've finally done it!"

"What do you think's gonna happen to her?" Catherine asked as they began to walk away.

"I dunno…but I'm hearing a lot of explosions in there."


	4. Friends In Low Places

"She's _back_?! What do you mean 'she's back'?!" Catherine roared, trying to control her anger.

"Yeah, well it turns out all the explosions, screams, and flashes of light we saw in Malfoy Manor was the Order rescuing Pansy…. Apparently they thought she was being held captive by the Death Eaters." Dana continued pacing the side of the lake, trying to come up with another way to cause Pansy further harm.

"Thought she was being held—?! But her _father's _a Death Eater!" Catherine got to her feet, her face beginning to glow a bright red.

"Well apparently they haven't figured that out yet, have they?" Dana began throwing skipping stones across the vast area of water. "And I thought we had finally done her in."

"Stupid karma." Catherine angrily threw a large boulder into the lake, not caring whether it skipped or not. "I'd rather be throwing these rocks at her head like we did last week."

"Catherine, we need to take a break, do something fun for a change."

"I agree. Pansy can go injure herself today if she feels complied to."

The two girls began to walk back toward the common room when they spotted Pansy walking out of Hagrid's hut, laughing about some prank she probably pulled on him.

"Prat," Catherine whispered, restraining herself from attacking again.

"Catherine, it's okay. Remember, we're going to _forget _about Pansy today and just _relax_," Dana coaxed, pushing her friend back toward the castle.

But before turning completely around, both girls spotted Draco rushing out from Hagrid's hut to resume his place at Pansy's side.

"Do it," Dana said sternly, both of them wearing deep scowls on their faces.

Catherine walked up to Pansy and casually said, "Hello," then took her by the wrist as she guided her toward the lake.

"Uh, excuse me, where are we—!" Pansy began to shriek, but was cut off abruptly as Catherine gave her a small, pathetic shove, and Pansy landed with a small splash into the lake.

"Mischief managed." Catherine walked back to Dana's side, still feeling very grumpy. "Let's go."

But their journey back was interrupted once again when the giant squid leaped up from the lake and dragged Pansy down toward deeper and darker depths of the water.

"Hmm," Dana said after a few minutes of complete shock and loss for words, "that was helpful."


End file.
